Novena for a conversion

Nine days for one person. Say their name at the N. Begin each day here. Father, I bring you N. again. I have no new arguments, and no power at all over that heart. I have nine days, and I will spend them here. Then the day. First day — that they be kept Before anything else, guard N. Nothing gets repaired in someone who is no longer there. Second day — the wound underneath Something happened to N. that made all this seem reasonable. Go to that place first, and go gently. I do not even know where it is. Third day — the ones who hurt them in your name If a Christian did this — a priest, a parent, me — separate your face from ours. Do not let my failures go on standing where you want to stand. Fourth day — the hunger Make everything else too small. Let the pleasure be short, the success be hollow, and the silence at the end of the day be loud enough to hear. Fifth day — a companion Send the person I could never send: one friend, one stranger, one book, one death, saying the true thing at the hour it can be heard. Sixth day — the hour of freedom When you come, do not force the door. Give N. a real choice, and the courage a real choice needs. Seventh day — the confession Prepare a priest for N.: patient, unshockable, awake at the wrong hour. Take the shame out of the doorway. Eighth day — for me Take the triumph out of this prayer. I do not want to be proved right. I want them home. Make me somebody it would be easy to come home to. Ninth day — for the day I may not see If the answer is given after my death, I accept that now. Monica prayed seventeen years. Some prayers are answered in the next generation. I put N. into your hands, and I take my hands away. Close each day. Jesus, you knocked Saul off his horse without asking his permission. Do whatever is necessary — and be gentle, if you can. Amen.